#I made more friends a a concert age 14 than I have from me the ages of 16-19 and i think that’s ridiculous

[milo-is-rambling]

Me when I want to be wanted more than anything else

[averys-nightmare-zone]

since landing is closing down soon, i decided to take a quick break from SUPERSTRUCTURE (although i will be back don't you worry two fans) and made some fashion moodboards for the 14 fears from the magnus archives to accompany this post there will be some notes and insight on each collage under the cut.

the buried: the buried was really underutilized in the podcast imo. some of my favorite episodes revolved around the buried like lost john's cave and we all ignore the pit. i really hope this did it justice since jonny sims did not.

the corruption: oh my god this one was so hard to make. my google search history is full of terms like "bug infested dress", "moldy clothing" and "yucky fashion" the corruption girlies really seemed to like my last post so i felt obligated to get it right. i think i did okay.

the dark: making a black on black collage look decent is really hard 😭 I was originally going to go victorian for this one but ended up doing nu goth instead since I thought victorian fit a lot better with the end.

the desolation: this is one of my favorites. there's somthing so satisfying about combining ashy greys and black with orange it just tickles my brain. other than that, i don't really have any notes

the end: as mentioned earlier, i went with victorian mourning wear for the end. i mean queen victoria herself was in mourning and only wore black for forty years. that era is so synonymous with death it only felt fair to work its customs and fashion into my end board.

the eye: eye avatars are legally required to wear academic fashion. it just comes with the job description. i don't make the rules. have fun being jonathan sims

the flesh: this one really took me down a rabbit hole. first:, i could only find those anti-vegan shirts that your unemployed uncle wears to the family barbecue and then i came across this fashion designer and spent like an hour on her shop trying to figure out how she got her clothes to look like that. after that it took me another two hours to find all of the accessories. pinterest has been both my best friend and worst enemy over the course of this project.

the hunt: i am so sorry the supernatural gas leakage returned to my home when i made this and I age regressed into being 15 again. when i was making this i pictured it more as the trevor and julia flavor of the hunt instead of say, daisy. god breast america.

the lonely: this one was pretty easy to make once i got a handle on the color scheme. the aesthetic of the lonely has always striken me as a romanticization of the melancholy. think wanderer above the sea of fog. So i gave this one all the things i would romantasize about my life at my loneliest, which is why there's a teacup and a heart locket. the book was also a part of that, but it also doubles as a recreation of a leitner by theponderingalpaca on reddit.

the slaughter: yeah yeah i know the slaughter is supposed to be about war as well as murder, but forgive me for not making a fashion collage about military uniforms. that's really boring. i had just watched woodstock '99 before i made this though and decided to go more for that angry punk/metalhead fashion that korn was wearing in that concert. them and limp biskit are the closest we'll ever get to irl grifters bone.

the spiral: i made this moodboard twice. i know its crazy that the fear meant to represent insanity is hard to pin down, but i think i did it better the second time around. the first one read too much as regular kidcore/decora for my taste.

the stranger: i had to do this one last. i could not for the life of me figure out how to make a circus/uncanny fashion board without just doing clown fashion. i'm still not entirely sure how i feel about how it turned out, but at least the masks are cool.

the vast: vast avatars rise up!! this is a mike crew fan blog and i only wanted to base the fashion around him. he's in the top three list of guys i'm autistic about with elliott stardew valley and daniel powell from archive 81.

the web: not much to say here except if you are a web avatar you have to wear a cunty dress. it is simply non negotiable

thank you to @artmadval for giving me the idea to do this with your amazing fashion archives art, along with everyone else who went through all my yapping to get here. love yall!

[nyewclear]

im so obsessed with your games and i cant wait for the dlc and kurou connect!! do you have any vague ideas about future game plans?

thank you so much for your kind words!! i absolutely have ideas for my future game plans :D many of the characters in the cryptid coffeehouse world are very dear to me and i really want to keep making games about them. here's what i've got so far, with all of the names just being placeholders:

nightcrawler (taz game): this will be a friendship simulator in which you play as taz, rather than romance him as an mc. it follows taz, who has a secret obsession with idol girl groups, particularly a latina girl group from california called nightcrawler. the whole plot centers around a nightcrawler concert happening nearby, and they need to find a friend to take with them. there's a huge cast of characters that you can choose from, including bruilkea! i'm hoping to have a more advanced money/work + time mechanic in this game, as you budget out money to buy nightcrawler merchandise and run a stan crytter (twitter equivalent lol) account for the girls.

big city birds (odina game): this is a odina/mc game in which you and odina go on a bestie vacation and many silly things happen, including the chance to fall in love!!! i'm either going to set the game in somewhere like los angeles or chicago, but i'm not sure yet.

lakeside detective (mordag game): this is a comedy mystery game that follows you and mordag (aged 14-16) as you solve mysteries (get into trouble) around mordag's hometown, particularly that poltergeist in the pizza place mordag talked about briefly in the lakeside event of cryptid coffeehouse :-) i hope to explore minigames in this one!

point pleasant +10yrs: this is a management sim & dating sim where you play as point pleasant's manager, approximately 10 years after the events of cryptid coffeehouse. point pleasant has made it big and you spent your time arranging practices, festivals, interviews, concerts, and all that good stuff. in the meantime, you also find yourself falling for one of these sexy rockstars, even though you know you really shouldn't!!!!! there will also be a poly option in this game :-)

i've also thought about making a (ko/kix)dina game where you play as odina and have to choose between either kolia or kixis to date, but that's just a fleeting thought hahaha. i'd also like to make something about jaxeon someday, but i think the story i have for him might be better suited to a comic or something.

feel free to ask me more details about any of these games!! i love talking about them— i've already planned out a lot of the details hahaha :P

[justforbooks]

Françoise Hardy

Icon of 60s music who sang of love as a source of ‘wretched, profound, endless questioning’

Françoise Hardy, who has died of cancer aged 80, shot to fame as part of France’s génération yé-yé, the jaunty transatlantic and cross-channel collision between French chanson and American rock’n’roll that also produced Johnny Hallyday and France Gall. But from the start, there was something that set her apart: a wistfulness, a sentimental self-reflection, a poise that belied a lifelong shyness and insecurity. A 60s icon, as big, for a while, in London as in Paris, Hardy was, in many ways, the antithesis of that restive, revolutionary decade.

Unlike her contemporaries, when she sang of love it was about “suffering and frustration, illusion and disillusion; wretched, profound, endless questioning”. Her songs, she told Le Monde, were a necessary outlet: “I wrote about my experience … A beautiful, melancholic melody is what best transcends the pain.”

Men fell, in droves, for her timid beauty. Mick Jagger described Hardy as his “ideal woman”. David Bowie, “passionately in love” for years, courted her backstage, in dressing gown and embroidered slippers. In 1964, the sleeve notes of Another Side of Bob Dylan featured a whole poem “for françoise hardy/at the seine’s edge”. (Two years later, after a concert at the Olympia music hall in Paris, Dylan invited the singer to a party in his suite at the George V, one of the capital’s grandest hotels. In his bedroom, he played her two tracks from Blonde on Blonde: Just Like a Woman and I Want You. Hardy always insisted she was so starstruck she never got the message.)

But the love of Hardy’s life, the father of her son and the agonising inspiration for many of her songs, was the French singer and actor Jacques Dutronc, whom she met in 1967 and married in 1981. The couple separated in the 90s, but never divorced, remaining on good terms. “Love is a remarkable force, even if its price is perpetual torment,” she said. “But without that torment, I would not have written a single lyric.”

Hardy was born in Nazi-occupied Paris, in the same maternity clinic at the top of the rue des Martyrs in the ninth arrondissement that had delivered Hallyday a few months earlier. Her mother was Madeleine Hardy, an accountant, and her father, Pierre Dillard, was a company director who was married to another woman. Françoise grew up in a two-room apartment nearby with her sister, Michèle, born 18 months later, and a solitary mother with whom Françoise had a “fusional, symbiotic relationship … I loved her probably too much – exclusively, unconditionally”. The girls rarely saw their father, who often neglected to pay his share of their upkeep and was regularly late with the modest fees for their Catholic education.

Weekends were spent with grandparents – notably an “egocentric, narrow-minded, frigid and emasculating” grandmother – outside Paris; many childhood holidays with friends of her mother’s in Austria, to learn German. Shy, dreamy, deeply ashamed of her unconventional family, Hardy turned to the radio, where in the late 50s, on the English service of Radio Luxembourg, she encountered a music – Presley, the Everly Brothers, Brenda Lee, Cliff Richard – that “affected me more than anything else. That ended up changing my life.”

Aged 16, she asked for a guitar for passing the first part of her baccalauréat. A year later, having passed the second part with honours, she taught herself a handful of chords “that produced most of my songs over the next 10 years”, and began writing. At the Sorbonne, studying German, she auditioned, unsuccessfully but not disastrously, for one record company, and started singing lessons.

Hardy’s contract with Vogue Records – who wanted “a female Johnny Hallyday” – was signed on 14 November 1961. She made her first TV appearance, in black and white on the state broadcaster’s only channel, six months later, and released her debut EP, featuring three songs of her own and a cover of a Bobby Lee Trammell song.

Her breakthrough came, rather incongruously, on the night of Charles de Gaulle’s October 1962 referendum asking voters whether France’s future presidents should be directly elected. In a musical interlude while the nation awaited the result, Hardy performed a track from her EP, Tous les garçons et les filles. The nation loved it. The song (sample line: “I walk down the streets, my soul in sorrow”) became a monumental hit in France, spending a total of 15 weeks at No 1 between October 1962 and April 1963 and becoming a million-seller. Within weeks Hardy was on the cover of Paris Match, plunged, still in her teens, into the whirlwind of the swinging 60s (which she detested: she disapproved of casual sex, avoided drugs, and could only ever remember being drunk twice).

Her first boyfriend, the photographer Jean-Marie Périer, ensured her picture – miniskirt, white boots, long hair, signature fringe – went around the world. Courrèges, Yves Saint Laurent and Paco Rabanne competed to dress her, for seasons at the Olympia in Paris, the Savoy in London, and shows in Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Denmark, Spain, Canada and South Africa. In New York, William Klein photographed her for Vogue. Roger Vadim, Jean-Luc Godard and John Frankenheimer cast her in films.

The hits flowed, recorded – some in London, produced by Charles Blackwell – in French, English, German, Italian, some written by Hardy, others not.

But at the end of the 60s, barely five years after she began, Hardy abruptly gave up performing live, and the cinema. “I hated what it all involved,” she explained. “Being separated from the man I loved, the waiting, the solitude, depending on the phone. And I’ve never been able to act. I can’t simulate, or lie. Songwriting, on the other hand … dives deep.” Life in the fast lane, she declared, was “a gilded prison”.

But she continued recording, releasing a dozen bestselling albums in France, of which she always cited La Question (1971), a sophisticated collaboration with the Brazilian musician Tuca, as her favourite. She duetted with French artists Henri Salvador, Alain Souchon and Benjamin Biolay, and later with Damon Albarn and Iggy Pop.

Hardy was never very interested in politics (she decamped to Corsica with Dutronc for the duration of les événements of May 1968, whose student leaders she distrusted), although she had strong opinions about questions such as abortion. Hardy was, however, fascinated by astrology, writing two books on the subject.

She continued to work in later life, despite claiming that her 1988 album, Décalages, would be her last. A string of new recordings in the 1990s and 2000s, a 2008 autobiography, Le Désespoir des Singes (the title apparently derived from a monkey puzzle tree in the Bagatelle gardens near her Paris flat, because its sharp, spiky leaves reminded her of “men who have caused me despair”), and her last album, Personne d’autre, released in 2018, appeared despite family and personal tragedies: Hardy was at her mother’s side when, suffering from Charcot–Marie–Tooth disease, she died by euthanasia in 1994.

Hardy herself was diagnosed in 2004 with lymphoma, eventually recovering after an experimental form of chemotherapy – but only after she had been hospitalised, in an induced coma, in 2015. Three years later, another tumour was detected, this time in her ear. In 2021, she told the magazine Femme Actuelle (by email; she said she could no longer talk) that she would like to be able to choose to end her life, as her mother had done, and in 2023, in an interview with Paris Match, called on Emmanuel Macron, the French president, to legalise assisted dying.

Shortly before that second diagnosis, in 2018, Hardy reflected on a career that had brought pretty much every award French music can offer (plus a medal from the Académie Française), telling the Observer she had always been surprised that people – “even very good musicians” – had been moved by her voice.

“I know its limitations, I always have,” she said. “But I have chosen carefully. What a person sings is an expression of what they are. Luckily for me, the most beautiful songs are not happy songs. The songs we remember are the sad, romantic songs.”

She is survived by Dutronc, and by their son, Thomas.

🔔 Françoise Madeleine Hardy, singer, born 17 January 1944; died 11 June 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[beheba8]

since one direction came into my life, every version of me that has existed has loved them.

at 12, i only knew the words to one thing. at 15, i got to introduce the same song to my 6 year old brother at the time who loved it so much that he would constantly make me play it on my tablet and we would jam out together. it is a core memory of mine.

and not long after, i was watching “one direction funny moments” compilations till early hours of the morning, i was so hooked.

at 14, “1D” was spray painted in massive font on my bedroom door. how i got away with putting straight up black paint on a wooden door is beyond me, but remnants of that sign exist to this day in my childhood bedroom. the same bedroom where, for 4 beautiful years, i got to build a sense of self, and get into a lot of fights on the internet, thanks to these five men.

anyone who knows me irl will tell you that to this day, even as a 25 year old college graduate, i credit my understanding of the english language to the fact that i read a lot (and i truly mean a LOT) of one direction fanfiction on wattpad. before watching your favourite concerts on a grainy livestream was a thing, teenage me was getting up at unholy hours to go on youtube and watch every single concert video from the night before. and not only did i follow OTRA from the other side of the world, i stayed in bed for 7 hours straight on 1D day.

i sobbed for hours upon hours in March of 2015, and then again for their last tour stop at Sheffield, and one more time after their performance of History on X-factor. sadness came to me easily- it was the only plausible way to feel in times like these.

i can’t say the same for myself today. i was at my desk at work, doing something on excel for a project, when i got a text from my friend, yelling at me in all caps that a member of one direction- the band that i love so dearly that even at my grown age i refuse to discuss in front of people who know me in real life because they simply won’t get it- has died. my heart sank to the floor, and i couldn’t believe that i’m meant to go about my work day as if everything is normal.

liam’s death made me dissociate from real life from the minute i heard to about ten minutes ago when i started typing this out. knowing and understanding the one direction fandom means that i knew instantly that the public noise surrounding this news will be vapid and abhorrent- especially for his victims who have been courageous enough to speak out about the abuse they have been put through by this man. the exhaustion i felt when i logged onto twitter on the 16th, from the god awful things people were putting out into the world with no regard for the very real people who are being affected by his death, is unfortunately as eerily close to 2013-2015 as i have ever felt.

much like 2013-2015, though, i couldn’t do anything but keep going on twitter. seeing posts from long dead 1D stan accounts who were the only people who could understand the deep confusion and sadness that i was feeling. my timeline hasn’t been this inundated with pure one direction content in many many years, and these were the only people who made me feel less alone. og directions, who have for a while now stopped being a supporter of liam payne for the terrible things he has done since the band’s dissolution, are the only ones who know how confusing this grief has felt.

and then came the joint statement, signed in order of oldest to youngest, from louis, zayn, niall, and harry, and their tributes to one of the 5 (now 4) people in the world who lived through the phenomenon that changed the course of music history for the rest of time. the versions of liam that each of them chose to share with the rest of the world, their love for him, and even the regrets that came from the distance that grew between them- that hurt me more than my own sorrow. at the end of the day, you can’t really take the parasocial obsession out of the teenage girl who lives in me.

i’m sad that in the wake of his death, those he has harmed are going to be unfairly and unjustifiably blamed by the insufferable people who refuse to accept that death does not absolve someone of their wrongdoings.

i’m sad over the loss of a human life, and the loss of the version of one direction- the ot5 version- that is now gone forever. the same one direction that gave me so much joy, helped me through unspeakable pain, and will mean so much to me for as long as i am alive.

[proximacentaurib]

time to get perceived buddy boy 1,2,4,7,10,11,18,19,23

1. Song of the year?

Cylinder Four would be the obvious answer since it’s the song I rediscovered this year and kept on repeat while doing homework, but that’s a boring answer (even though it is the first song I ever remember resonating with me when I heard it in the background of some YouTube video when I was 12). Planetarium (Inside) by Alex G is a good representation of how I’ve been feeling for the past few months, if not years. Honorable nominees for song of the year, in no particular order, are Molchat Doma - Я Так Устал, Radiohead - How to Disappear Completely, Radiohead - Idioteque, Кино - Сказка, Molchat Doma - Волны, Luigi Archetti and Bo Wiget - Stück 22, and Порнофильмы - Уроки Любви

2. Album of the year?

Easy, Кино - Чёрный альбом, Disparition - Granicha, and Brian Eno - Ambient 4 (thank you for that recommendation)

4. Movie of the year?

I only remember watching like 5 movies this whole year so I don’t know. I Saw the TV Glow is the only one that stuck with me after watching, but I still don’t know how I feel about it

7. Favorite actor of the year?

You think I know any actors? But fine okay. You when you did that really long bit about James the forgotten teammate during that one tournament in March. You sounded so genuinely serious that I actually started feeling a little bad the longer it went on, as if there really was someone named James who I was not just ignoring but convincing everyone didn’t exist

10. Something that made you cry this year?

Here’s a complete list of every time I remember crying this year:

- the 2-3 tears I shed after bombing my physics midterm in February (I got a 45)

- when final grades came out in April and I saw I had a C in physics (lasted under 30 seconds)

- when I realized my cats had turned 10 years old and didn’t have long left to live

- I was going through something in August but I don’t think I ever actually cried that month because my worst moments were all around other people and god forbid anyone find out I have an inner life

- a couple conversations about deep topics scattered throughout this semester

- my mom asking me about finals last week

- my mom asking me about physics in September

- another few tears total, rarely more than 2-3 tears at a time, shed during various unimportant bouts of frustration in the past year

11. Something you want to do again next year?

HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE I WANT TO SEE MY FRIENDS

18. A memorable meal this year?

Shem Bleedingsalt grilled cheese

19. What are you excited about for next year?

Strangely enough, astronomy lab, because I want to be up on the roof with a telescope at 4 AM, that sounds awesome. Also Molchat Doma concert, IC3PEAK concert (possibly), and the 3 symphony concerts I already have tickets to (forgot which ones though)

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

I don’t know, I don’t think there’s any message my past self could benefit from. “Don’t get your hopes up about academics”? “You logically know this already but your friends don’t hate you”? “Appreciate what you have” except I already did so there’s not much of a point in telling my past self that. If given the chance I would absolutely fix whatever I was doing from the ages of 14-17, but a year ago I was more or less the same as I am now

[phoenix-positivity]

16 june 2024

All right so I finally feel like writing about my concert experience, a.k.a. one of the best days I've got to experience in a while.

I had prepared very long for this concert. I really had been dedicating all my time outside of work towards this. I had put together an outfit carefully and made things for it. I made each member bracelets matching their solo albums (which I got to gift them during the fansign) and I made a bracelet for myself with all the solo album colours combined. And I spent a lot of time making bead embroidered earrings. (Pictures of those will be at the end of this)

It was an hour drive to the venue but I didn't want to miss out on anything so I left home many hours before any of the events were starting. One of my favourite chain lunch restaurants happened to be next to the garage I was gonna leave my car at. In the lunch place I spotted more people who were also going to the concert and I just chatted on my phone with a friend as I waited since I was so early. The view was very nice where I was sitting. I was looking out on a river and it was a very sunny day.

Then eventually I decided to just make my way to the venue. I had tickets that would allow me to get my album signed by them. I took their debut album with me for this (dot point jump), I figured what better album to get signed than their very first album? It's also a nice plain white album so their signatures would not get lost among imagery. Upon showing my tickets I got wristbands for entry as well as a lanyard and some poster stuff.

Once I left the ticket booth I immediately got approached by other fans that complimented my earrings and we all had conversations about where we had traveled from, what age we all were, if we frequented other concerts, etc. A lot of people were there on their own so everyone seemed eager to talk with other fans and socialize. We all still had quite some time we had to wait. Although the waiting system was really great. Everyone stood in line in order of what level ticket they purchased (there was multiple tiers) and then your ticket had a number in order of how soon it was purchased after ticket sales started. Everyone stood in line really organized and made room for people who came before them. It was all really polite. Everyone had lanyards with their assigned tiers and numbers clearly visible. I had the second highest tier and was number 14.

We had to stand in line multiple times for the different planned events (fansign, group picture, the actual concert line up) so we went in and out of the venue quite a couple times to stand in line again which was a really interesting system to me. Because of this I got automatically acquainted with the people in front of me and those behind me. I like that we got to stand in line multiple times for different events because this allowed for more excitement as we got to do the different things. It allowed for the members to have a small break in between talking with fans. I think it is a lot of work for them! There is so many fans that they have to greet and stuff they have to sign, it must drain a lot of energy to put in all that social effort.

The person behind me, number 15, arrived late but just in time before the first event. I spend most of the concert talking with them. The concert itself was amazing. I barely recorded anything because I like to experience concerts in the moment with my eyes and not look through my phone screen. Luckily I found the entire concert recorded on youtube, posted by another fan. I don't want to forget what it was like. Especially at the end of the concert it was very fun because they splashed us with water and shot with waterguns, haha.

They also took all the pride flags from the audience and paraded around with them proudly (then returned them back to the fans). That's also what I really liked about this concert. Almost everyone was very obviously queer wearing pride items. It was also people of all ethnicity, ages, body sizes, fashion styles and inclusive for disabled people. The group is very supportive of the queer community. In fact I'd say that's their main message they put out there. And no, it's not queerbaiting. They openly express actual support in a culture that's very queerphobic. I'm not going to assume the sexuality or gender expressions of the members because that is none of my business. All that matters is knowing they are supportive!

Anyway, we had the opportunity to buy 'snapshots' which means you get to take a polaroid picture with one of the members of your choice. There's premium and standard options, the premium just means the polaroid is a bigger size, they are more expensive. The snapshots were all going to be taken a little bit after the concert performance had ended. I'm telling this for context for what I'm about to say. So me being number 14 and having spend time with number 15 I knew they had to leave soon after the concert to catch the last train home. The issue was they had purchased a snapshot ticket with a member but they weren't sure if they would get to still take that picture due to the time being limited. They announced that the premium pictures would be taken first. Number 15 had a standard ticket for the same member that I had purchased a premium ticket for. I offered to trade tickets so they could quickly take their picture and then go home. They were first to take a picture and left me their contact info and left. This worked out for me because I had purchased 5 standard tickets and one premium, but I'd rather have had them all the same size so they would match better. So it worked out for the both of us. I liked being able to help them out. Maybe I'll meet them at another concert again, since they also frequent kpop concerts.

The experience of getting to take the polaroid pictures was really amazing. When do you ever get the chance to get this close to the artists you admire? This group really is one of the kpop groups I'm most invested in (I like too many groups to list out here, but there's some that are more special to me than others). Some of the members noticed and complimented my earrings, which made me very happy. I thanked them in korean with a little bow. I really wanted to be as respectful as possible. I know they are just people at work and I don't want them to feel like they are objects. I don't agree with the way a lot of kpop idols get treated and criticized (or stalked) by 'fans'. I understand having admiration for someone, but I feel we must never lose sight of the fact that these people are human! They are performers and artists, but they are human. They already have to work very very hard and give up a lot of personal privileges and freedom. The group is very vocal about the love they have for interacting with their fans so this makes me feel better about getting to take pictures with them. I don't want them to feel like exploited show ponies, ha.

I really really hope they will have another concert in my country soon, I really felt sorta homesick to the experience the next day after the concert. It still brings me a lot of joy to look back on it. I hope the members rest well after having to perform this much on their tour.

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

i don't wanna cause any more drama but have you read the new Spiegel article? About the friend of the daughter of another bandmate :/ and being 15 gosh. I don't know what to think anymore honestly.

Serious post alert, and it will get long too...

Please skip or block it as you feel needed. This story will not be graphic (at least i will try not to), and let me state up front that nothing bad ever happened to me personally, nor that i know of ever happening to people i know.

---

This ask i got right after the Spiegel article was published, which was right before the Brussels concerts. I deliberately didn't answer it at that time, because ofcourse the timing of the media wasn't a coincidence and i don't play that way, and i wanted the final concerts to be just about music, the band, and fun.

In short, the story is about a lady, now 28, who 13 years ago was (and possibly still is) best friends with a daughter of a bandmate of Till, even was in a band with her, she joined the family on a vacation in Germany, and met Till there. They talked, had some drinks, and kissed. Later they went beyond that. Her father found out and ended the situation. When she was grown up she reconnected with Till and they again had an affair. Two bandmates of Till are said to have known about the situation.

The story is under an alias, so if you feel that it's anonymously, i don't argue with that, but realistically, those of us who follow the band a little, know which bandmate and daughter would seemlessly fit that description, and although we don't know the person by name, i'm sure for people who are in their personal circles, it won't be a secret who it is. This is my assumption at least.

The story also does not involve any criminal act, because having sex at that age is legal in Germany (with consent, but consent can be given by anyone over 14 i think).

And ofcourse this is just the one story, no comments from Till, his lawyers or the band have been made, so at this point it is 'a story' and not more than that. We have heard similar stories or shards of it in the fandom over the years, but these too were never substantial. So what was it about this one...

Thing is...this story didn't shock or surprise me. It didn't have me rolling my eyes and thinking 'how could that even happen'.

And maybe more than anything my initial reaction surprised me. So i also took these last days to consider that, and figure out why that was.

-------

I think i figured out...and it's a couple of things, and none of it really have to do with Rammstein...

For those who don't know, i am rather older than the average tumblr user, and as this may be relevant in this case (generational gap?) i will state again what i usually say "i am younger than most of Rammstein (but not all)". What also may be relevant is that i grew up in west europe (netherlands), a very liberal country, sex wise (certainly when i grew up).

Firstly, different from some reactions i read on social media by fans (i don't read much about the Rammstein allegations, but i read some about this one), i am not mortified at the idea of a 15 year old having sex. When i was in highschool at 14/15 i had several friends who had adventures with guys on the weekends when they all went camping. I happened to be a rather naive and unexperienced teen, but my friends sure weren't (i learned much of my sex-ed from them, let me tell you). There boyfriends were usually teens themselves, although usually a few years older, but that sex happened was clear. Also, in the teeny magazines i read at the time sex was on many of the 'sent in questions' that the magazine answered.

(the Rammstein guys are about my age, i think when asked when they first had sex, they all mentioned being in their mid-teens, Richard a bit younger at 13)

I didn't have the sex myself as a teen, i stayed pretty much naive, unexperienced and unremarkable for a long time (maybe i still am), but also, i never did things *because* others did them, peerpressure never impressed me. If i didn't want something, i didn't do it (still don't). I didn't drink alcohol either as a teen, even though that too was pretty common for other teens.

In my early 20's i still didn't drink, still didn't have the sex, and was still naive, and unremarkable. What i was, was being very active in a youth movement (bit like 'Scouting' but a different one). Our youths varied from age 6 to 18, so where we as staff were in large part in our twenties, some of the teens in our groups were almost our own age. Some of the older youth also helped out occassionally as staff, and i have known many wonderful, active and dedicated teens (15, 16, 17 etc). Ofcourse when they helped we always made sure that there was an adult present, that they were never alone responsible for a group, but as there was sometimes only a few years between us, we did not see a problem in them having a beer with the rest of the staf when they helped out (just one, we always made sure no one would overdo, but we definitely weren't alcohol-free).

What also was part of the movement, was that we as staff had courses to teach us skills on things to do with our groups, you know: making fire, frying food without a pan, setting up a camp with tents etc etc. Staff members who were more experienced would be the tutorsand these courses were great fun, camping out in the woods, getting all grimy, long nights at a campfire, singing songs.

One of the tutors who was often involved was a guy who must have been in his mid 30's (maybe near 40) at the time, a great guy, very charismatic, well respected by everyone, because he knew his stuff and explained things very well. There was a great vibe about him, people loved hanging out with him, making things, building stuff, making better campfires. Everybody in the youth movement knew him, and valued him particpating in a course, a real people's person. What we also all knew of him was that he was a ladies man...he regularly had a new 'girlfriend', and even more snogs with not official girlfriends. He didn't flaunt it, but rumours were many, where he was seen heading of to a tent at the end of a campfire night with a woman. We all knew it, women informed eachother about that fact, so anyone getting involved was aware of his reputation.

Like i said, we as staf were usually all in our 20's at least, you had to be 18 to be official staf and to particpate in courses, so i never heard about him getting with younger women, but i realise now that with him being, let's say 35, a 20 year old, may have been a significant age gap in itself from an outsider point of view.

And for me being the naive, unremarkable person...it was amazing that this guy, when i met him on my second course, remembered my name, came up to talk, gave me a 7-up (remembered i didn't drink). Between planned tasks, he taught me as a sidenote, to make a fire with rubbing too sticks together (a pretty timeconsuming way, and not on the official courselist, we had easier ways to do so), which was a fun thing to know. Everybody always wanted to be near him and chat, but if he ended up next to me, he chatted with me too (that never happened to me normally 😊).

I never made a move, and he never did either...but realistically...if i had been interested in 'more', i don't doubt that he wouldn't have turned me away for a night in a sleeping bag..

Years later, i was already away from the movement because i had a busy job, there was a huge reunion, of people who had been staf in the past 20 odd years. So i went, just out of nostalgia, over 300 people attended and the guy was there too (with how much he did for the organisation, not a surprise), and believe it or not, he still remembered me, and we had a nice chat, before others came to talk to him and swooped him away.

I have lost touch with that crowd by now (work, also moved away), but if i met him now, and if he'd remember me 🌺 i'd love to have a bit of chat. But how many women he snogged or shagged back then...no idea...

----

When i read the story in Der Spiegel, unlike what i see many say as it being unbelievable...i totally get it. I was early 20's, but naive, more naive than my schoolnates at 15. Here is this guy who is easy to talk to, and makes you feel he's interested in what you say (me! never..). I didn't make a move, he didn't either, but had i maybe had a bit to drink, i might have (i sure crushed on him a bit).

And meeting up years later and being remembered, that makes a person feel good. Add a bit more alcohol...well...

Let's say i get it.

I hadn't thought about the guys in over 20 years, but when i read this, i did..

I've been wondering if a guy like that should feel skeevy to me now, with what i know these days, and how much moral has changed. And i don't know.

Do i think now someone should have intervened and have that guy not attend the courses...i think no...like i said, all adults, and we all knew his ways. But is that still an acceptable excuse nowadays. I don't know that either.

Should the guy have kept his youknowwhat in his pants and just had a steady girlfriend, possibly...but i never heard he forced anyone, ever. He just...had a way about him, women were as interested in him as he was in them.

So that's where i am...

If the story in Spiegel did happen, i wish it hadn't, but i'll react to it, when that's confirmed.

Until then, i'm still gathering my thoughts...and try to figure them out..

[vitani-carnis]

Hola! Today we're talking about...

Vitani's Childhood!

So, originally I was going to have this as more of a short story condensed version of things, and while I do like that I kinda started writing it and stopped... and the draft didn't save... I've had the idea in my mind to actually do the short story in the moment stuff but writing is hard or whatever. So, for now, it'll just be me chatting.

TW: for mentions of child abuse and death

Vitani was born to her party-loving mother, Leana, who had her fairly early at 19. V's father is unknown, and they don't really care to find out either. For the early years of their life, they were raised by their grandparents who were fairly sick from exposure caused from the Arasaka HQ incident (with her grandfather having worked on the rebuilding of NC and her grandmother being a NC native). Up until the age of four they were her biggest protectors, until they sadly succumbed to their illness.

Around this time her mother was engaged to a Valentino aligned drug-dealer, and they had her brother James, though he was shortly busted after being thrown under the bust by a partner. While Vitani didn't realize it yet, around this time her mother became a doll to make ends meet. Also around this time she meets Jeremy, a chrome junkie from the Maelstrom gang.

Vitani, to put it bluntly, didn't like the guy. Hate would be a very applicable word. Jeremy could be described as a very erratic and emotionally controlling man, very prone to using silence as punishment and making people around him walk on eggshells. Granted her mother was no saint, and often relied on V to either emotionally support her, or to be a verbal punching bag, or to take care of herself. Both her parents were very prone to getting drunk, abusing drugs, and getting into often violent fights. This did not lessen when they had her brother Alec, and he'd often be in the middle of the two. By the age of eight Vitani considered themself a coward for being and feeling so weak and often self-isolated in her "room" (closet).

School was better, only in the sense V wasn't the subject of much cruelty. More often than not, V was left to the sidelines of their peers. Like being in a glass box; looking and talking to people, but never able to touch them in a real emotional way. Even if V made friends (which wasn't often), it would never last long and they'd drift away.

Something, or rather, someone, was always there though: Johnny Silverhand.

It started at ten, as wanting to get more interested in her parents likes; thinking if they had things in common V could maybe get some sort of affection from them. Slowly it morphed into a sort of obsession as they learned more and more of the music, the message, the myth of the front man. Now, for the record, V liked everyone but Henry, but there was something about Johnny that was, well just cool. He felt like a well-loved guy from the concert recordings of people screaming his name, seemed like nothing ever bothered him emotionally and if they did, he seemed to fight back. He seemed to be a person who saw injustice in the world and wanted it gone. Vitani wanted to be him, more than anything else.

Honestly if you can picture a DSMP loving middle schooler, that's what Vitani essentially was. She went on old forums and argued in the comments, looked for hours on end over theories of the band, listened and dissected all the lyrics beyond the level of any Swiftie. She snuck out to scrounge for old merch and old tech to fuel her hyper-fixation. They absolutely daydreamed about being apart of the band, or raiding Arasaka tower, risking their life to save their hero's.

They idolized him so heavily, tried to emulate him, anything. If only to protect herself from others, and to offer an escape from reality.

At 14, V didn't have to worry about her parents anymore though. Not because they got better, or that she put her foot down in some outburst that made them listen...

But because they left, left her, left her things at the house; and never came back...

And that's where V meets Jill, and it also means that this long post of V's childhood up until that point is over! Again, I might write things out in way more detail and in a short story way idk. We'll see!

If you read this then thanks a BUNCH! I really love my V and put a lot of time into fitting her into the cyberpunk universe and think of her and Johnny often. (And yes, if anyone says anything, I do recognize how problematic this ship could be, dw, I just like them being very unhealthy and codependent in the game. Post game when V has gotten Johnny a body and isn't dying they both get therapy).

[dynamic-power]

Weekly tag Wednesdays- firsts!

I haven't done one of these in so long. Thanks Nosho @creepkinginc for the tag!

Name: Dyno 🦖

Age: 29 (but not for much longer 😩)

First pet? A brown and white hooded rat named Sugar. She was such a sweetheart.

First word? "Juice!" Which makes sense, as fruit is my favorite food group.

First celebrity crush? David Tennant as the tenth Doctor 😍

First IRL crush? The kid who sat next to me in band in the 7th grade. (I ended up dating their twin in high school 🤣)

First kiss? It was also in 7th grade. It was terribly awkward.

First car? Petunia 😍 She was a 1998 Jeep Cherokee in gunmetal blue. Both of my younger brothers drove her before I bought her from my parents. She was a death trap with no passenger airbag and no horn and headlights that probably weren't good even in '98 and I loved her very much. I have lots of good memories with her.

First time on a plane? I was 7 and we flew from California to Florida.

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents? It was a one bed, one bath shit hole that I shared with a friend from high school. We used a curtain to cut the dining room off and that was what I used as my bedroom. There was a cutaway that looked into the kitchen and it provided more than one awkward moment.

First cellphone? I saved up my money and bought a Razr when they first came out. It cost me a whole $50.

First concert? It was a local metal band in a bar that I *technically* wasn't old enough to be in.

First sport you ever played? Teeball. I graduated to baseball eventually, but stopped playing in high school when music became my main focus.

First career aspiration? I wanted to be a Pediatric Endocrinologist lol. (A very young auto-immune diagnosis meant that I was in and out of endocrine offices for a lot of my childhood)

and finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think "wow". Oof. When I was about 14, my mom stumbled on some of my original fiction. She thought I'd been practicing my typing skills and asked what book I was copying. 😅 that was when I really realized this whole writing thing had potential. Unfortunately, all of my work up to age 16 was saved to floppy disc's and then lost in a house fire. I wish I was kidding, I really do. I've since rebuilt and improved upon the world I'd built, and still to this day when I delve into it, I'm really proud.

I'm not gonna tag anyone specific. If you got this far, this is me, tagging you. Also, take some cake before you go. 🍰🍰🍰

[feelssogoodinmyarms]

Spring Awakening Fandom Tag

(By @winter-asleepening )

Doing this bc i miss springy wakening😔

1. how were you introduced to the show?

when i was really into hamilton in like 2016 jonathan groff was white boy of the month for a while and i was consuming all the groff content that i could and i came across that video of him talking about when he fucked up left behind. and then i listened to left behind and cried and read the wiki page and watched the obc boot and then i woke up here

2. Seen a production live?

yus i've seen 3

3. Dream role/character you relate to most

i've been in love with wendla since i laid eyes on her and i would die to play her. im obsessed with her, she's got so much more depth than people realize and that was cut during the transition from play to musical fuck you s*ter and i would love to bring that to my rendition of her. and i was also assaulted when i was her age, i was also suicidal, i was also confused af and my mom was not helpful, i also wanted to be loved so badly, i just see a lot of my teenage self in wendla. i related to her so much when i first saw the show and that's a big reason i got so obsessed with it.

4. Favorite male character

prob moritz or hanschen. they are 2 sides of the same dramatic ass coin. they also have daddy issues and are gay like girl me too.

5. Favorite female character

all of them? wendla holds a special place in my heart but like. there is so much to love about all of them even anna and thea who we know almost nothing about have the building blocks of great characters. i've always loved combining what we know about the characters from both the musical and the play to make more complete characters especially because s*ter cut so much of the girls characterization bc he's a sexist pos fuck you and i def do that with anna and thea.

6. Deaf West Revival or Original Broadway Cast?

dwsa for life but obc walked so they could fly

7. Favorite song

AAAAAA probably touch me just cuz it's soooooo pretty

8. Least favorite song

probably woyb bc im heterophobic and melchiorphobic

9. Favorite quote/line

musical: "giving yourself over to someone else? defending yourself endlessly until finally you surrender and let heaven break over you? i just put myself in her place. and imagine"

play: "won't you come visit me in my dreams now and then? i'll welcome you with outstretched arms and kiss your breath away"

10. Favorite TV performance

dwsa touch me on seth meyers i have to watch it daily or i get 1 level of exhaustion

11. Favorite cast member(s)

i can vouch that kathryn gallagher is cool as fuck cuz i met her at a ben platt concert but j groff and jgj seem pretty cool. alex wyse and jbw seem unhinged i think i could hang with them. smf and katie whoever are so talented i wish she wasnt an anti vaxxer. andy mientus attacked me with a candelabra just like riff raff did to rocky😔

12. Favorite cast member moment

when josh castille followed me back on instagram when andy mientus, kathryn gallagher, and josh castille covered sex by the 1975 and all the videos the cast made on various social media platforms

13. Do you write fan fiction?

unfortunately

14. Do you make fan art?

i have made 3 fan arts that i don't think i have anymore

15. Do you cosplay?

i am too poor

16. Don’t do Sadness or Blue Wind?

both bitch

17. Word of your body or the Reprise?

reprise cuz i love gay ppl

18. Touch Me or My Junk?

bothhhhh

19. Explain the song of purple summer

vague hope ig? like "the adults have failed everyone but we're all 15 and will be adults soon so maybe we'll be ok" with flowery language

20. Explain the song of purple summer (wrong answers only)

ilse and mulchy took acid to see their dead friends

im tagging @dwsavideos and anyone else who sees this and is into spring awakening cuz idk if any of my sa mutuals are still active😭

[olderthannetfic]

Hi! I know you're one of the older fans on Tumblr & I wanted to ask you about the anti movement. I'm 19 & when I see people talking about the ages of anti fans, they're often within the 14-25 age range & I have no idea why. I also feel it's a little unfair to say that younger fans tend to be antis, though it is understandable since I've also made mistakes when I didn't know things. Why do you think most antis are younger fans? What should younger fans who aren't antis do to be more involved?

Hee! I’m 40, which, tbh, actually isn’t that old for Tumblr (though it’s certainly old compared to the common perception of tumblr), so sure, I can probably answer this. I guess there are two questions here: 1. Is it true and 2. why, if so?

1. Experience suggests that antis do tend to be young... but it does not follow that young people tend to be antis. (You’d have to know the proportion of antis relative to the overall population of fandom, which we don’t. I think the majority of people of any age tend to want to read fic in peace and not be roped into endless wank.) I definitely see some ringleaders who are older and good at manipulating fandom trends for their own ends too.

2. Why would this be the case?

When I was in college, we used to joke about all the freshman year Marxists. It’s an eternal phenomenon: people who don’t have much experience learn a new thing and are on fire to change the world using the one tool in their toolbox. (To a man with a hammer, yadda yadda.) There’s no passion like the passion of the newly converted, and young people tend to have a lot more energy and often a lot more free time to yell on social media. Antis may be one expression of this among people currently in that age bracket. It’s not like people my age didn’t do other annoying-ass things when we were that age. You just don’t see it because it was 20 years ago, a lot of it was never online, and all the websites/platforms from then have been systematically destroyed. (Often by yahoo. Fuck yahoo.)

The other half of the reason, in my opinion, is that there have been concerted efforts to sway lefty/socially liberal people in specific--often TERFy--ways. It’s somewhat reminiscent of the right wing radicalization of gamer guys.

People are susceptible to it because their lives suck and because they don’t know enough history or have enough confidence to form their own opinions and stand up for them. Sure, some people are going to go hardcore for anti views no matter how much they know, but a lot of people are just being swept along with the tide because something sounds superficially pro-gay or pro-protecting kids or whatever.

I cannot emphasize enough that the things that make someone ripe for the alt right are the same things that make them ripe for cults and for various kinds of toxic fandom shit: it’s usually the smart, sensitive overthinkers who don’t have enough close actual friends and who aren’t in a good place in their lives.

---

So what can you do?

You can try to make fewer more significant friendships and make sure your support system isn’t people you only know because you currently share a fandom. Most of my offline friends are people I found through fandom meetups, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for making fandom your life and only hanging out with fandom people, but we’re just regular friends who have dinner parties and shit (well, when it’s not the plaguetimes). Most of the time, we don’t share specific ships or fandoms. It’s vitally important to have a real support network that can’t be ripped away by social media wank.

The next thing we can all do is publicly stand up for what we believe in and not cave to pressure just because someone yelled “think of the children”. It’s important to be clear about the real history and logic behind these things, whether it’s the history of censorship that inspires people to support AO3′s extremely permissive policies or the fact that ‘queer’ was a fully reclaimed umbrella term in the 90s.

It’s okay if we don’t all agree. What’s not okay is appeals to emotion and ignoring science. A lot of anti bullshit is like “Rape fantasies are an abnormal red flag”, and this goes against every damn thing we know about human sexuality.

Part of this is examining our own stances for illogic and hypocrisy. If thought crimes aren’t real, then all of them aren’t real. I see way too many “Okay, but that one gross kink though!” comments from people who claim to be on my side, and this is very silly.

Possibly the biggest thing, though, is that we as a planet need to start being savvier about shitty social media and how it’s destroying our mental health. I don’t have a good overall solution, and obviously, I’m still on tumblr, but we all really need to cut down the amount of time we’re on sites like Facebook and Twitter and probably tumblr too. The more it has an algorithm and the less it has moderation, the more it’s a problem. Individual discords and spaces that can have moderation are better. It’s fine if some of them are 100% antis. The point is to have multiple spaces with rules that suit different groups.

A thing you can do is make your own spaces: be the owner of a discord for your ship, not just a passive participant at the mercy of shitty mods in an existing one. Run a fic exchange with rules you think are sensible and be firm when people try to scream about problematique things you don’t agree are a problem. One of the most pernicious anti problems is mods breaking the rules of their own spaces (usually a “no kinkshaming” one) to cave to social pressure from the loudest, most assholish set of people in the server. They don’t know how many people quietly disapprove and quietly leave their fandoms because they only fear the loud harassers, not the silent toll of caving to them.

Honestly, the climate of fear is the big issue more than a bit of yelling: I routinely meet 20-somethings who live in fear of being canceled and shunned. You can help this by... not being like that with your friends. If they’re friends with a canceled person, don’t ask them to drop the canceled person or face the same fate. If you disagree about some fandom hot take, talk about it calmly and don’t act like the friendship will be over in 5 seconds and you’ll use all your knowledge of them against them in a public callout because they didn’t instantly agree.

Basically, have some self confidence and don’t be fucking terrified all the time... which can be a tall order and probably explains the age thing also.

[notyourdayrdream]

sixteen glee fics i love!!

today’s my birthday, and i really wanted to have something to post. but i’ve been so busy and kind lost the passion to write over the past few weeks :( so instead i wanted to highlight a few of the authors and their stories that are little presents to read each time

not in order <3

1. Milk and Caffeine by @theyaskedmeto

written like how a fresh batch of cookies tastes. or how espresso feels as it washes over your tongue. one of the earliest klaine fics i read and i still come back to it.

2. The Hating Game by @coffeeorderwrites

so perfect, capital P Perfect. laugh out loud funny too. i want this entire story tattooed on me. it made me really want to read the book it’s based on, but i’m afraid it won’t be as good!

3. andante, andante by himbosamevans

very slice of life-y and very cute. the ending has so much emotion and i walked away with a deeper appreciation of burt hummel.

4. out tonight by snakebitewrites

i usually don’t like chat fics but for some reason this pulled me in! (it’s kurtcedes, kurtcedes pulled me in). feels like something straight out of season five (in a good way!) chaotic and definitely something that happened canonically because i said so.

5. No, the one beside the sex shop by slowcookedvig

read this one while the days in quarantine began to bleed together, and omg it’s so much fun?!??! feels so recent with a very unique premise. i mean, they bake bread! in quarantine! i did that too! the Valentines update is very cool too

6. If Music Be by @blurglesmurfklaine

i vividly remember being super excited to see an email notification that this fic had been updated. i’d rush to my room after school and read it in ten minutes, then again to savor every single word. made me miss concert band.

7. Friends in Low Places by @esperantoauthor

a staple. a classic. will be read in middle schools and considered a must read. i love a snarky blaine, and OHMYGOSH klaine is so adorable in this!

8. Chasing Pavements by @spaceorphan18

i actually need to catch up on this! but ugh, fake dating, i live off this trope. you know when something is written so well you just want to throw your book/phone and bury your head in your pillow and scream? that’s me ever over chapter of this fic.

9. A Simpler Time by legallyblained

i feel like not enough people have seen Pleasantville! i remember watching it when i was really young with my parents. loved santana and blaine’s relationship in this and the 50s aesthetic! will definitely get you a bit emotional

10. Syrup and Honey by @heartsmadeofbooks

read it on ff.net and loved it! started my complete love for bakery AUs and lawyer!blaine. really great descriptions, the world felt so full and complete! can’t wait to reread!

11. Lights Will Guide You Home by lavender_love00

i mean, it’s perfect. waiting to reread this, but the world of this story is so lived in and cozy that when everything falls apart you crumble with it. bittersweet but mostly sweet ending, when i ended the story i just felt so satisfied

12. Anderson Barbershop by PaellaisComplicated

really cute! jeff and nick were a cute side couple to have along with the setting (never read a klaine fic set in jersey lol) the second part of the series is awesome too!

13. In Orbit by hundredindecisions

having so much fun reading this so far! i love stories where people float in and out of each other’s lives, it feels so real. can’t wait to read more!

14. Wise to be Cruel by hedgehogtongues

AHH I WANT SEASON TWO NOW! really made me see characters in a new light, santana and kurt especially. loved sancedes, and the building of kurt and blaine’s eventual relationship. santana’s snark is just perfect for her situation as kurt.

15. I Have Guidelines by @hippohead

friends to lovers, fake dating, my kryptonite. from the very beginning, i could tell kurt and blaine were hopelessly in love with each other. and then sebastian, oh sebastian.

16. Pressed Against The Glass (series) by @gleefulpoppet

combined some of the tropes i enjoyed the least (soulmates, age gaps) and wove them into a beautiful story. kurt and blaine are so patient, that the smaller moments have more pay off than the big ones. a masterpiece.

thank you guys for making this year so special :)

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 5 “Drunken Fart Contest” [Episode List] After one of their usual nights out with their friends, Dave and another bud, Adam, end up being really drunk. Luckily, it was Tim’s turn to be the designated driver, so he’s perfectly able to drive. The two drunk friends, however, are really, really gassy…

Drunken Fart Contest

2:00 a.m. The party was getting out of control, as predicted. Almost everyone was completely drunk or confused. I heard some plates breaking in the kitchen: good thing this is not my house. Whose birthday was again? The music is still loud, playing through some speakers carefully placed in strategic locations of the room as some dizzy guests danced –or, more precisely, staggered to the rhythm of it.

Whatever was going to happen next, I didn’t really care: it was my turn to drive, so I was literally the only sane guy at the party. My pals asked me to take them out of there around 1:30 a.m., but since we were having fun, we lost the track of time. I eventually found both Dave -you know him, and Adam, another friend of mine, around my age as well. They probably had alcohol instead of blood in their veins by far.

“You’re such a cock-blocker!” Adam hissed at me, since I –according to him- ruined every chance with a girl he was hitting on. Too bad this girl passed out 15 minutes ago and my tipsy friend didn’t seem to notice at all. Oh well, it’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.

Dave was definitely more collaborative: he had this silly smile drawn on his face, probably because he made out with some hot girl in the other room. His sweat-soaked shirt was partly unbuttoned too, so maybe he was heading second base without even noticing.

“Ok guys, here we go…”

We eventually reached my car, parked just outside the loud house. Some fellow guests were lying on the grass in the front-yard, either laughing or smoking: they were fine, some of them even said ‘hi’ to me as I walked past them. I opened the rear door of the car on and forced Adam to go inside, who muttered something about how I ruined everything with the woman of his dreams. He then tripped and fell in the car, lying on his stomach, looking more like a corpse.

“He’s dead…” Dave simply commented. Not very helpful.

Adam’s place was our first stop. Our houses weren’t really far away from each other, but I tend to drive slowly, especially during weekend nights, for obvious reasons. Adam, still lying on his belly, probably passed out. I checked on him via the rear-view mirror, unwillingly triggering my gay senses: all I could see was his grey skinny jeans sagging, exposing his black underwear, the latter hugging his surprisingly bubbly butt.

I ignored that vision and turned to Dave, my co-pilot and the guy in charge for the music. He was fine, better than my other friend, that’s for sure. We chatted a bit, as he noticed that I was tired, keeping me focused on the street. After a while, however, he chuckled and lowered the volume of the radio, almost setting it to mute.

“I think you’ll like this song more, listen…” he said, with his well-known smirk.

I knew what was going to happen. I was actually surprised that it was only happening now, considering that alcohol always made Dave really gassy. He spread his legs a bit, visibly pushing one out and glanced at me one last time before the “thunder” almost made me swerve.

The sound was loud, even though it was partially muffled by the (lucky) car seat. It was very dry-sounding and manly, almost like a long, enormous morning fart.

“Aw… come on…” Adam muttered, as Dave’s flatulence literally woke him up.

My gassy friend laughed as he leaned a bit. He was basically indirectly farting in my face, not even caring about the presence of our friend. I had to keep my eyes on the road, trying not to admire my friend’s denim-covered ass. The fart lasted around 14 seconds, one of his longest blasts I believe. It was followed by his friendly laughter as he gently patted my shoulder, as if he every time wanted to make sure that he was ok with me, my weird fetish and that I had nothing to worry about; and I always appreciate his gentle mannerisms, despite the rudeness of his manly rips.

The smell hit us all soon, especially because the windows were locked. Bad choice. It was already too disgusting even for me, a nose-killing stench mixed with the already awful aroma from our sweat-soaked shirts.

“You’re disgusting, Dave!” my other friend said from the back seat, trying not to laugh.

“Thanks, Ady! Glad you appreciated!”

Dave leaned a bit again and ripped another loud toot, lasting only a couple of seconds this time. Truly a proud farter, indeed. Adam clapped his hands sarcastically, laughing a bit.

“Sure… really impressive…” he said, still lying on his stomach.

A moment silence, then another fart begun, but it was not from Dave. Maybe it was the dizziness, the alcohol, but Adam started to rip one too. I checked again on him via the rear-mirror and I could see his bubbly butt erupting this extremely loud, high-pitched fart. It started kinda weak, only to become louder and manlier as seconds passed. Dave laughed, knowing that I was living both in a nightmare and in a beautiful dream at the same time, visibly amused by my weird situation. As the blast continued, Adam slowly wiggled his butt left and right, the tone of the fart changing a bit; he laughed as his 12-seconds rip started to fade into silence.

Now it was Dave the one clapping his hands. “Bravo!” he commented, as we all bursted into laughter. I didn’t know if it was because of my boner or the farts, but the car’s temperature seemed to raise a lot so I had no choice but to lower the car windows, also because the smell was getting too unbearable (yes, even for me). I felt the colder wind from outside brushing through my hair, my nostrils still sensing Dave and Adam’s farts.

Seconds passed, but the smell was, strangely enough, still there, all around my face. As I heard my friends’ laughing almost to tears, I understood why; I couldn’t hear it at first because of the sounds of the traffic, but they both started ripping one big fart at the same time the moment I rolled down the window; once I noticed it, I heard the sound too: it was insane, out of this world; two giant farts being ripped at unison. Dave pointed his index finger up as the farts continued, as if he was some kind of orchestra leader, and looked at me with a smirk, knowing that I was enjoying every moment of that gassy jam session.

I didn’t even know how much time passed this time, maybe 20 seconds. They laughed again, finally ending their unusual fart concert and complimented each other. I wish the trip lasted longer. I was ridiculously aroused. Was this a fart-contest? Because I’m pretty sure they’re both won.

Eventually, we arrived to Adam’s place; he was feeling better as he got up on his own, adjusted his hair a bit and patted his hands on our shoulders. “Thanks for the lift, cock-blocker!” he said, punching my shoulder in a friendly manner.

We made sure he got into his house safely and then headed to Dave’s. Only a couple of minutes later, I parked in front of his garage, both listening to some more music from the radio before ending the night-out. We kept chatting about the party, the host’s poor taste in music, but it was getting really late and the we didn’t want to wake up the entire neighbourhood.

“Alright, Tim. See ya tomorrow I guess…”

We bro-fisted, more than aware of how cheesy that was, and he opened the door.

“Oh, by the way…” again that smirk. “I am the fart master…”

He got out of the vehicle and closed the door behind him. Dave then squeezed his butt in loose jeans, almost sagging, through the car window a bit, and proceeded to rip yet another loud fart, this time just for me. I didn’t even time to react as I felt the warm gas engulfing the entire car, the smell becoming once again unbearable; it sounded like a loud chainsaw and lasted about 8 seconds.

My friend was just as surprised as me by the blast’s loudness and quickly got his butt out of my car, as some of the neighbours’ dogs started barking, hilariously annoyed by Dave’s fart.

“Oh my…” we both muttered, laughing.

I immediately started the car as my gassy friend rushed inside the house (this time he didn’t forget his house-keys). As I drove back to my house, I couldn’t help but smile the whole time: my best friends are gassy idiots; and that’s perfect. But Dave… well, he’s the best of all, farts or not. Whether the case, I really should plan a road-trip with him some day. And just thinking about that made my dick aroused again…

End of Episode 5

[theswarmanthology]

Katie Wetzel, 19, Bay Area, CA

"It’s a family truly. I remember being very young when I first began engaging in MCR fan culture. The elders have always been so welcoming. They showed me the ropes and made me feel cared for. Having more fans my age now is wonderful too, I love connecting with such an amazing group of people."

Fast Facts: How long have you been a fan?: 9+ years Did you get to see MCR live before this tour?: No, this tour was my first time seeing MCR How many shows on this tour did you attend in total?: 1 Favorite album: I have more than one favorite album Show experience out of 10: 10 Did you cry at your show?: I'm still crying right now

Which date of the tour did you attend? 10/05/22, Oakland Arena, Oakland

When did you get your tickets for your show? Was it a struggle, or were they easy to grab? I got my tickets in January of 2020, I told my cousin about the tour and she bought them while I was in class.

Did you attend with anyone else? I attended with my younger cousin

What did you wear? I wore jeans (yes, blue, yes, I felt weird wearing blue jeans to an MCR concert) as well as a “The Black Parade” t-shirt (thanks 2010s Hot Topic), and my high-top black Converse.

Where were your seats? Our seats were in section 124 which is slightly angled behind the stage on Ray’s side.

What was your favorite song(s) from the setlist they played at your show? My favorite song they played was Boy Division. It’s not a song I was expecting to hear, and it’s one of my favorites.

What song were you most hoping to hear? Did you get to hear it? I was really hoping to hear Dead! They didn’t play it lol. I was also really hoping for them to play Teenagers. I know they get tired of playing that song, but it introduced me to the band, and I never expected to hear it while I was still a teenager. They played it and it was really special.

What was your favorite moment from the show? My favorite moment from the show was Gerard chasing a crew member off of the stage while mumble yelling the words to I’m Not Okay. Good reminder for everything there of how spooky and creepy he is.

What was the most unexpected moment from the show? The most unexpected moment from the show was Gerard dedicating The World is Ugly to a couple who just lost their dog Walter. RIP Walter.

Did you snag any merch? What pieces? I grabbed a tour shirt (with the the Three Cheers picture on the front) as well as the cheesy, J-14, Tigerbeat style ‘Boy Zone’ shirt (I’m in love with it and wear it all the time).

Many fans describe seeing MCR live as feeling like coming home. Did you experience anything like that at your show? I truly felt like I was home. I felt like I was with my family. Seeing a group of freaks and weirdos gather to be freaks and weirdos at a concert for a band made up of freaks and weirdos was really special. It was very nostalgic but also new and so much fun. Mikey was so sweet during our show, he kept coming to our section to sing to us and it really livened everyone up. Such a happy moment for us all.

If you could change one thing about your show experience, what would it be? I would change the amount of people I talked to. I wish I was more social with the audience. It’s a concert full of people that have connected to this band in a very special way, I’m sure I could’ve made some friends if I had spoken up to the people around me. I’m not a socially awkward person, it just didn’t cross my mind. I wish I had spoken to others more.

Has your perspective or opinion about the band changed since seeing them on this tour? If so, in what way? I have always loved the band and been so appreciative of them. But, it made me more appreciative of not just what they have given us as fans, but appreciative of the fact that they are still around to even do these shows. Knowing that some of them almost didn’t live to see getting married or having children, and now they’re rocking out on stage with their kids drawings tapes to the amps, and their wives taking photos of them on stage, I’m so glad they’re around for it.

What advice would you give to people seeing My Chemical Romance in the future? Go crazy. There was a period of time in which we never thought the band would be getting back together, and now they’re in front of you rocking out to songs that you grew up with. Forget about the people around you, forget about the opinions of others, have fun. Headbang until your neck is sore, jump around until your legs feel weak, sing until you have to stop to catch your breath (all if you are physically able of course). Have your moment. Make that memory.

Anything we didn't ask that you feel obliged to share or talk about? Maybe the fact that the costumes and makeup were INCREDIBLE at the show. So many people dressed up in really dark and off-putting ways. It was so cool.

Thanks, Katie!